Limits

Its Wednesday night, I'm out of water for the day, chewing gum is now hurting my jaw, and I'm craving a new invention at the state fare of a cheeseburger on a krispy kream donut.

http://www.thestar.com/living/food/article/848767--a-krispy-kreme-cheeseburger-only-at-the-state-fair

So instead of salivating over what I can't have, I'm going to focus on what I do have. I realized I had to focus on this tonight when tears came to my eyes at the gym and it hurt more to cry than not because my spray tan chemicals were burning my eyeballs. I realized this when I was running last night and had no idea if my feet were even moving one in front of the other. I felt like I was in a scene from inception. I realized this when I got goosebumps from my group of 30 women singing happy birthday to me from the pool in my aquafit class this morning.

Tomorrow I hit the quarter century of my life...25. I can't believe it. What I really can't believe is that I can't have my cake and eat it too. On the agenda tomorrow is a wal-mart run for a vanilla cupcake candle, lip smackers vanilla cake lip gloss, and I may even throw some Vanilla bean hand soap in there too.

I've realized how many things you can do to overcome your cravings. Countless upon countless times I've let myself go into thinking 'one really isn't that bad,' until it really made a difference. When I started training for my figure show, I was the heaviest and most out of shape I've ever been. I let my anxiety about my career and future take over my body. It wasn't until I started living and letting my brain lead me in my new adventure to understand where and what it really means to BE.

By allowing my brain and body finally become one, I realize why I'm here and what I'm meant to do. I'm here to use my body as my engine to inspire others. After an episode in my life at the age of 16 I've been seeking the answer to why I was still walking on my two feet. There is a plan somewhere, I just needed to be patient to attack it. I don't have the all the answers, nor will I ever stop looking for them. But for now, I let my mind and my body stay interlocked as one. By working together to create an engine that is so great and so powerful to educate and touch the lives of many.

I go into my 25th year of my life realizing the past 24 years have lead me to where I am, brought me specifically to the people I've met, and looking forward to the journey I'm about to unfold.

So I raise my...um...well...16 oz of distilled water tomorrow and cheers to the following:

The Month of August
My wonderful and loving family
my truly amazing and inspiring friends
Pictures
weddings

Facebook
Stride Gum
DJ Emerson Day's hip hop mixes
Mrs. Dash
Penn State football season starting in 17 days
Groupon
Starbucks
YOU for reading my blog!

3 days....